A Little Priest
by KaziRede
Summary: The Author has writer's block! So she has Kumatora and Duster perform one of her favourite scenes from Sweeny Todd? How will this end up?


"Do we REALLY have to do this?" Duster said with a heavy sigh, "You know I can't sing ..."

"Duster ..." Kumatora began, "You want Kazi to finish Seed of Evil, don't you?"

Kumatora motioned towards the almost finished book, "Seed of Evil", then promptly pointed her finger towards the book entitled "Betrothed and Betrayed". She stared straight in Duster's eyes. "I KNOW you want her to finish it ..."

"Oh, DO I ..." Duster said, staring at "Betrothed and Betrayed". He can only imagine what he and Kumatora will do in the next story.

But first, the Author had to finish seed of evil.

Which she couldn't do, because not only did her inspiration run thin, but she had another idea blocking her from progressing in either story. The Author certainly had a crazy idea.

"But really ... Sweeny Todd?" Duster asked, skeptical

"Come on, it's a cool musical!" Kumatora said, throwing costumes at the theif.

"B-But ... It's ... just so esoteric ..." Duster gulped as he caught the costume, "Besides, I can't sing for beans, and - IT'S JUST DISGUSTING! I mean ..."

"You're afriad to act out his part?" Kumatora asked.

"Exactly." Duster said.

"Okay, okay ... Lemmie talk to Kazi about this."

Kumatora left the room for a moment, and Duster took the moment to change into his clothes. He wasn't expecting to get out of this, so he just went along and fitted himself in the same get-up that the villain known as "Sweeny Todd" wore. It just felt ... wrong ... that he had to wear such things. He wasn't a murderer! And god forbid, he could never eat a pie filled with Human flesh!

Kumatora came back. "Okay, here's the deal."

"We're not gonna perform it?" Duster said, hopeful.

"No. No, we're still going to perform."

"Great ..." Duster sighed.

"We'll still act out the part, but we can act it out any way we want."

Duster blinked. "Seriously?"

"Yep."

"You mean we can do ANYTHING."

"Yep."

"Including -"

"No, not that." Kumatora said, holding her hand up at Duster's face, "She's saving that for the next Story."

"Well damn ..." Duster cursed.

"Now come on, you want her to write, right?"

"Heh, that rhymed."

"Shut up and lets start this ..."

---

Duster pressed himself up against the wall as the blood threatened to touch him. He stared at the bloody and messed up corpse that had threatened to kill him earlier. The poor soul, even if he was trying to kill him, he wouldn't wish the kind of punishment he got upon anyone.

Kumatora was certainly violent with a hard, metal bat.

"K-Kumatora ..." Duster gulped, dropping his blade he was using to shave the person's short stubble at his side, "Th-this man ... he-he .."

"He was trying to kill you." Kumatora said without emotion, throwing the bat at her side. She then promptly dropped to the ground and lifted the heavy man over her shoulder. "Hey, will you help me with this? He's really burly"

Duster was coughing up his lunch he ate earlier.

Kumatora sighed and dropped the man again. "You really are a wuss. Y'know that?"

Duster gulped once again as Kumatora paced around, spreading blood by her feet as she did. "There must be some way we could hide this body. We certainly can't keep him here ... the smell's gonna stink up the place. Any ideas, Duster?"

Duster remained silent.

"Figures." Kumatora said, putting her hand on her chin. "We could possibly burn him, but that would get really messy really fast."

Duster still remained silent.

"Although, I'm sure he has relatives who'll come popping in asking questions ..."

Duster wet himself.

Kumatora smiled. "Seems a down-right shame ..."

"Sh-shame ...?" Duster gulped.

"Seems an awful waste ..." Kumatora knelt down to the bloody man and poked it, "Such a nice plump frame, what's-his-name has."

Kumatora stood up and thought, "had ..." And thought again ... "Has ... Nor it can't be traced"

Duster blinked. Just WHAT was she talking about?

"Business needs a lift!" Kumatora said, trying to get Duster to guess what she was talking about, "Debts to be erased ..."

Kumatora wondered over and sat down next to Duster. "Think of it as thrift, as a gift!" she whispered, poking Duster's cheek, "If you catch my drift"

Duster blinked. He had not caught on yet.

Kumatora sighed. "Seems an awful waste ..." she said, staring off in a distance. "I mean with the price of meat, what it is, when you get it ... if you get it ..."

"Ooooh-OOH! EW!" Duster finally caught on, but did not like the idea at all. "You're suggesting we use him as meat for your ruined meat pies?! Kumatora, THAT'S SICK!"

Kumatora sighed, "Duster, you're ruining the song."

"I know, I'm sorry, Sweeny Todd's a lovely play, but honestly, I get the willies just THINKING about what you're thinking."

"Not my fualt you're a hemophobe." Kumatora said, casually looking at her dirty nails.

"No, it's more than that." Duster said, getting up, "What you're thinking of doing, it's called Cannibalism. It's frowned upon in many countries."

"Come on, you said yourself some time ago we should try anything once." Kumatora said, getting up. "I heard Human tastes like lamb."

Duster opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Duster then stared at what seemed to be nothing and sighed. "Please tell me you've changed your mind."

"Actually, yeah, I've gotten enough inspiration to keep me going." The Author's voice rang out.

"Good, because honestly, I don't wanna do this anymore." Duster said, "It just sickens me ..."

"God, you have such a weak stomach."

"Because of this fanfic, I might not be able to eat meat for a week."

"Fine, Fine, I'll get busy on 'Seed of Evil'" The Author sounded rather perturbed. "But just do that little dance for me."

"What?" Duster asked, blinking.

"Y'know, the part where Sweeny Todd and Mrs. Lovett dance around and around celebrating her idea? I like that part."

Duster sighed. "Fine. But promise me one thing in return."

"Shoot." The Author's voice said.

"I want Kumatora to give me a big, wet, sloppy kiss in your next fan fic, no matter how drunk, stinky, bloody, beaten up, or tripped out I am!" Duster said.

The author's voice laughed. "Okay, you got yourself a deal."

Kumatora's mouth hung open in disbelief. "What ...?! But-"

"You heard her." Duster siad, giving a sly smile.

"B-But ..."

Duster grabbed Kumatora's shaking hands and began to spin her around, singing badly.

"Have charity towards the world, my pet!"

Kumatora sighed and followed, "Yes, Yes, I know, my love ..."

"We'll take the customers that we can get!" Duster proclaimed.

"High-born and low, my love!" Kumatora couldn't help but get into the song.

"We'll not discriminate great from small, No we'll serve anyone -" Duster stared at Kumatora

"Meaning anyone!" Kumatora proclaimed back at Duster

They both spread their arms out wide, "AND TO ANYONE AT ALL!"

The two let the music play as they sang the last note, then Duster let go of Kumatora's hand and walked away.

"I need a drink ..." Duster said, grabbing his head.

"Lemmie join you ..." Kumatora said.

They both left the room, leaving the bloody corpse to rot there.


End file.
